Thousand Leaves 2.0

It’s been an eternity since the last time I fell in love with another guy. I am not sure what was wrong, or perhaps I need to fall in love with more guys mathematically to know about love and guys. What’s wrong with me?

I wanted to have more time on my own, that’s why I quit my last job. I worked for a big name corporate for almost 6 years, went home after 10pm or 11pm everyday. And I wasn’t any executives nor managers. What the hell was wrong with Japan? It never gave me time to go out for dates. Or there wasn’t time at all for me to fall in love. I wanted to be in loved.

That’s why when someone I knew told me that I could have my own time, the fear to go to some small company from the big corporate was still there, but being able to have my own time was something I wanted more, so I quit and joined the new company.

Somehow, this new company that I joined 4 years ago, it didn’t seem to give me more private time at all. Instead I am still working late, and I haven’t fell in love, since ages. What’s wrong with love? Or me?

At work, I am responsible to teach the new employees. Not really a job that I enjoyed much, but sometimes when they showed me the good response or reward, it’s something that I thought I wanted to continue to teach them, so that they will do they way I teach them. It’s the satisfactory that I gained.

There was this guy who joined for almost a year, couldn’t do the job right as I wanted him to do, always made the same mistakes, though I supposed to be his assistant, but I just couldn’t forgive him for not being able to follow all the procedures that he supposed to follow.

Last week, he was so absent at work that I got so furious and called him off for a meeting. Surprisingly, he said he is going to quit the job. I asked him the reason, he said it’s due to his ways of doing things didn’t fit into this job. The job that required more attentions and delicacies, he preferred to go back to what he does good, being himself.

Being in the industry for 10 years, I know better than him. He is just not capable to continue the job. So, there will be another shift of consultants and assistants combination again.

Who will be the right person that I can work well with, I wonder.

Love, if I don’t get to you, why don’t you come to me?

Well, just one word, I think I am going to buy the DVD and put it on my love-movie-to-watch-when-I-get-old list. From the web, it seems that there are lots of mistakes of its continuity and factual errors, but there are few sceens with good lines. Don’t be too fussy. Let’s continue with our real lives.

Usually it’s known NICU. I just learned that from a Malaysian friend of mine who gave birth to a baby with such experience. I don’t know, but sure it must be something hard for a parent to go through such thing. Now the baby is growing big and drinks lots of milk. YC, hope you are doing well too with the baby now.

Recalled my personal experience, I realise I am terribly bad in risk management. You can say I am optimistic, or just an idiot. All the while, I never expect to face serious issues, perhaps I am lucky. But, now I don’t think lucky is lucky. I never try to prepare myself for any critical situation. Even for my old age, I never really thought of it seriously.

Not everyone think about such thing so far. If this is what most of the people are going through, I really hate myself now. Really.

One of my colleagues Y is going to leave us. He joined before me, and worked for exactly a year. His reason of leaving is, kind of sad, due to his assistant, a bitchy one, who has been long in the dispatching (temporary staff) industry, and is also the one who responsible to teach — not train — all the new staff in the office and as well working as a coordinator.

I was working with her, under her training, but was lucky that we didn’t have to work together after that as a team. For example, she who supposed to assist me while I was outside the office, couldn’t be more helpful; I have to face her grilling. For each of the particular thing, she expected me to come up with an explanation to her before she could really help me.

She told me that she was shocked of Y’s leaving; that Y didn’t appreciate for all the goodness she wanted to teach him. Having worked in the industry for 10 years, she added, she knows well.

Another new citizen I found on the lonely planet.