Wednesday, March 1, 2006
When there are people say they like your posts, that's the most encouraging things to keep writing. Thanks Dave!
Even when I write, I am not the type of person to write about job or work, rather the people around me are my target to actually capture them in here. Somehow, lack of management or what, I don't know how I should to jot down notes, or expand notes when I am free, or even write short paragraphs when incidents take place so that I can compile them into one big paragraph later. I need self-control.
As if I am so serious about blog.
There are time I need to get "influenced" before I write. Watching English movies is the most effective way I choose. Titles come to mind fast and easy. Sentences are like a continued conversation from the movie. Whether it's good or bad, you decide.
Recently, though I have watched quite a few DVDs but I didn't try to take notes. Fitch is good and entertaining. The main character is good but rather, the supportive actor is even better, I think. Bewitched. I watch it because of Nicole Kidman. The interpreter also. Her way to speak with a low voice makes me think. My African friends and kids, all of them speak the same way. And, excuse me, I have to repeat, I just cannot accept Sean Penn's acting. Why he always has to lose someone in most of the movies he is in?
Talking about people, I really have lots of people's story to tell. Guys, you just have to be patient with me.
The Harmless and Nice People
Tuesday, March 7, 2006
There is this lady who started to work for a Bangladeshi company. So at lunch someone brought curry to share. After lunch, then the lady recalled that she forgot to eat her breakfast she bought.
"Oh, I forgot to eat my sandwiches this morning." She took it out and try to ask the other Bangladeshi staff to share. It was ham and egg sandwiches.
Another story. This was when I came to Japan with a bunch of kids in high school. One of the host families had a party for the group. They already knew that there were muslim students, so the host girl warned her mother not to have pork inside. And she didn't buy any pork for the party.
Then one of the students looked at the ham, and asked, what meat is this?
"It's ham, not pork." The mother answered.
No harm mean, but that's the level of consciousness about religion for average Japanese. If you think they are guilty, sue them.
The Chinese character of a house. On top of it is a roof, and the bottom of it is pig. Chinese used to raise pigs around the house, that's how the word came from. Can you imagine what would be left if you get rid of pork from Chinese cuisine? They got nothing to cook and eat!
99% of human being live only thinking of ones interests most of the time, one wonder how possible for, for instance, Chinese and muslim to live in harmony genuinely? Perhaps lots of compromise. So, Malaysia itself is a mystery, may be. Like the old government slogan says, Malaysia can!
Another Tinderbox Technique
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Tinderbox technique: Drop-stamp adornments from textuality.org.
Attention Young Man
Monday, March 13, 2006
Here is a good article of Knowing Myself. As Dave says, while we pay too much attention to others, at the end, we found we could lose ourselves totally.
Perhaps this could have nothing to do with languages, but Dave mentioned also that for those who don't have a large emotional vocabulary, most of the time you might not be able to find thyself, I have an example. Well, I am jumping into conclusion. Sue me.
For research purposes, I was reading letters that I sent to my friends (I borrowed them back, yeah!) especially those years when I first arrived in Japan. Besides, living in this modern age, I do have the urge of "finding oneself," that's why I am reading my diary since my early high school, in British education system, from the forth year of secondary school. Yes, I had a diary, and it was in Chinese and English.
From the vocabulary, English was totally way too simple, and what grammar meant to me at that time? Meaningless. Anyway, for example,
4 March, 1988. It seemed that I had nothing to say for a couple of weeks. Perhaps it's because I don't keep my heart (probably originally from Chinese, can't recall well). What I did was I solved my problems right at once.
How I wished this young man didn't solve the problem and have it written down! But, typical young man problem; they don't have the right vocabulary for those emotions though they can feel it, sensitively.
And the letters that I wrote, most of them were handwritten, was in Chinese. It was after I had joined the university, and after I got my Macintosh, I then started to type in English, with Claris, and I stopped writing Chinese anymore since then. And I found myself saying things like, I feel more expressive when use computer. An illusion, but how this blog exists could have something to do with the arrival of Mac since that time.
Besides, I was amazed by myself that I had lots of Chinese vocabulary which some of them I can't remember now. By remember, I mean I know the meaning, roughly, but I never thought I could write it out, and used it myself. Or perhaps I was learning too, using dictionary, carried away by words, or influenced by books I read at that time. And I found also, I read some Japanese books, expressed my opinion in Chinese to my friends, which of course, I have no idea at all now.
Youth is, really really young.
Born to Work Hard
Monday, March 13, 2006
A while ago, radio keeps promoting slow life, slow food. I guess there are people who find working hard becomes meaningless to some point, could that be? May be.
I have been on such practice — slow life — since I was a kid. Somehow, living in a consuming society, one needs to really work hard in order to pay the bills I guess. But, I find everyone has a different definition of "work hard." If I were born in a cold country, may be my thinking would have been different, but born in Malaysia, I don't think that way.
Are we born to work hard? Work for whom? For oneself? Or for others?
Queen sings, I was born to love you. Everyone needs a reason to live on, perhaps.
Lazopipo: Lonely Planet
Saturday, March 18, 2006
After mum passed away, I seem to have lost something, something more than a family member. I am not sure what it is called, or may be I just don't want to admit it.
— — —
When dad was around — or when I was still a kid —, we used to live in a big house in central Tokyo. One day, we all have to moved out to live in a smaller apartment, dad lost money on the stock market.
Call it irony, the stock market game has never be my enemy, rather I have been her good friend, and though I have been betrayed by shares, I still think life is supposed to be a big game, one got to know how to play with it, till the end, like dad did. He was a loser, and even though I lost my money on shares, but that doesn't mean I am a loser. His daughter me had experienced those great moments.
After I retired from my previous job, mum was still there, taking care of her has become part of my daily routine. Earning some pocket money from pachinko was what I did. Well, luck wasn't always with me, but you need to know how to play the life game.
One of my old colleagues introduced me to work in a small company doing tea serving and some admin work after mum passed away. I guess I can't be demanding by now. Once the boss offered me to work short hours for my age, I then realised that I can't afford to go to pachinko as often as I used to anymore.
I tried to get another part time job to work at night, after the daily job. Things started to go unpleasantly out of track. Those staff at the daily job started to criticize my personality.
"It's not about the language, it's about the petty cash that you are handling, don't leave it open like that, if you want to serve tea, at least close it first then go to do other things."
Who the hell do you think I am? You think I don't know how to do my job? Do you think I am working for the money? I am just helping here! I can leave anytime if I don't like it.
Got out of the office earlier than usual, I said to myself I am going to take a walk. Passing through the shopping arcade, the familiar bingo musics when the little silver balls that hit the machine flows in to my heart. How a great soul heeling little ball! I am coming! Let's play a few thousand yen to celebrate my next year turn 70 birthday today.
The Polar Express
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Rented the DVD for kids, and I was the one who enjoyed the most, I think. CG sometimes can be terribly scary because it brings more details of expression than what natural shoot can shows.
© 2004 Warner Brothers.
I never read the book. It might be a totally two different experiences.
Beer Isn't Just for Breakfast Anymore
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
I haven't drunk much recently. Don't know, whenever I get drunk, I can't plan my time; things can't finish as I wanted, so even though I know the moment when one has drinks it's nice and fun, but once the joy turns out to be regret, that's time when god get all my swears.
Kawabata Yasunari, Noble prize winner, has a book titled The Study of Novel (Shousetsu no kenkyû). It was a compilation by his wife, I guess, for his related publication about novel. In it, it also has a good analysis about why Japanese has great shorts stories but not novels. In the West, novel itself already means long fictions basically. With strong aims, plans, and plots, that's how a novel is born.
On the other hand, Japanese culture tends to have short stories is because of the system of monthly magazine publication. Editors demand writers to come up stories that fits the deadline.
There is a quote about Virginia Woolf on style. The importance of styles and vocabulary, etc. And the difference between Japan and the West on naturalism: Japanese naturalism means writes naturally, almost without plot and plan. Just let the mind flows, as if poet. That's why long novels is still new in Japan. This was may be a few decades back, still true but not all true.
I don't seem to really understand the above well myself. Why?
I am drunk in the morning. Yeah.
Wordless Moment
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
These are the moments silence is golden. At Ueno Zoo, Tokyo.
Wordless moment
Originally uploaded by Ken Loo.
The Uncanny Valley
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Peter wrote to me on what I said about Polar Express, and pointed me to this page titled The Uncanny Valley. Thanks, Pete!
Another Me
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Am thinking of another story for lazopipo. But, haven't found the proper way to express it as a first person. I don't want to write about what I see, but how the person could see the world from my writing. And I cannot concentrate on imaging the character.
I am angry with something else, that's why I can't concentrate for it.
Spring Is Here, As Well As the Memory
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Went to Yoyogi Park, Shibuya today with the kids. My wife was working at Ebisu, one station away from Shibuya for morning shift.
Shibuya used to be my playground, I spent there one and a half years at language school. After a while, I still missed the place. The place used to be so-called for the young one. The memory for me with Shibuya, in a way, was I spent my youth there. Things have changed tremendously there, and still it recalls with nostalgia for me. At the end, after I met up with my wife, we went to a sushi bar for late lunch, the one I used to go to 16 years ago. A few of the staff I could still remember their faces. The price is still the same, one plate for 120 yen. All of them.
Took a few photos of Sakura though it wasn't fully blossom yet. May be next week. Uploaded a few photos at flickr too. Enjoy.
A Matter of Time
Originally uploaded by Ken Loo
Depressions Comes From Expectations
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Strolling around with kids, I recalled what I wanted in my life, and what I have so-called achieved and not, and why some of the important dreams I am still putting it as "ing" rather than "completed" etc. Some of these might not turn real even if I get old. And the reason why it cannot turn real is perhaps I am not-work-hard-enough. To achieve something, one does need to change oneself. Doing the usual ways, life is not gonna to change.
Life is depressing when we try to impose expectations on it. That's why.
But, where am I heading to? Where do I want to go? How much hard work does it need to change for the better?
p.s. All the alternatives that I have, and what the presence I am having, all are my decision. I chose it.
One can work hard, but the consequences doesn't promise things would work out the way we wanted. So, expectations are not the aim.
A Malay Voice
Monday, March 27, 2006
I have been wanting to listen to what the Malaysian Malays say about the difference they feel compared to other races at any point, and here is a good one. Though she might have a background which need consideration, but forget it. Listen to what she says.
About racism, well, when there are people ask me why the discrimination occurs in Malaysia, and being a Chinese, what do I think, etc. For such questions, it basically means he wants to smell my anger, if not, the unfairness being Chinese. But, I normally will tell them, it happens anywhere. It depends on how you see it. And if the generation before me suffered such discrimination, and if my generation wants to stop that, we should have done something. In reality, most of us never really face the issue directly, I think.
